Sojourn by the Sea

Creative Spirit Adventures Retreat Center

Lao Tzu once said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."

Well, I took my first step about a year and a half ago at 54 years young, when the last of my children had moved away from home, and I was officially deemed an "empty-nester". At the time, my ex-husband had recently passed away very young, at 58, and my sister not long before him, at 57. Sadly these two were not the only family and friends who had gone too soon. In fact, at the time, it felt like there was a mass exodus occurring. What the heck was going on??? Not only was this hard on the heart, but it also gave me reason to pause and reflect.

Seriously... What about me? What if this should happen to me too? What if I were to be taken now? Would I feel I had done what I came here to do? Would I feel satisfied and ready to go home? Sadly, the answer was no, flat out, no hesitation... NO.

You see, for so many years, I had been doing what I had to do, what I thought I should do and needed to do, rather than what my heart really wanted to do. Don't get me wrong. I did some AMAZING things in my life. If you know me at all, you know this is true. In fact I laugh when I say that I have had more lifetimes in this one than someone who has gone through at least a dozen or more rounds of reincarnations! Yes, I've been pretty busy! Pretty creative...

Anyway, back to the empty nester thing... Oh the ideas I had, and man I was grateful that I had. It helped to take the sting away from suddenly being on my own, no kids, no dogs, no one, after all those years of parenting. Now what?

What was the idea that stuck? Well, I had the brilliant, yes brilliant, as in SHINING with LIGHT, idea of renovating my house and turning it into a retreat center. I was so excited at the thought! I LOVE to serve people. I love to teach and pamper and care for people. It was a PERFECT idea and one that I had secretly (and not so secretly) held in my heart for many decades, just waiting for the right time to come to light. However, I have to admit, in my initial dreaming state I actually hadn't intended to walk a thousand miles - a hundred, maybe, maybe two hundred, but DEFINITELY not a thousand!

Oh Pam... HERE WE GO AGAIN! This is NOT a new thing!

You see, I am a pretty creative person, not just a little creative. I'm talking...

SUPER CREATIVE

BUT, its not really ME. Hang in here with me, I'll explain more very soon.

You see, when the creative Spirit flows THROUGH me, IT doesn't just come in like a trickle. Instead, IT barrels on through like Niagara Falls baby!

Overall, this is a great thing, and please know, I'm not complaining. In fact I am SUPER GRATEFUL for this aspect of my life experience, but now and then, I must admit that I wonder what it might be like to be just VeRy CrEaTiVe instead.

So here's the deal, when an idea enters my mind, it always seems to start small and manageable, but in record time it grows It grows like a tornado, picking up speed as it picks up so many other ideas that come to me, one by one, and two by two, three by three (you get the picture) and of course, when these ideas come to me, I know that they must come THROUGH me! Note: With all that I am and with all that I have, and all that I can borrow, I have always done my best to see all of these dreams through. This one was no different.

Fast forward to the renovation, which was originally going to be a little paint and flooring, nothing major, I ended up DOING IT ALL! I'm talking EVERYTHING! Paint, flooring, drywall, building a new wall and installing a new door, redoing all of the plumbing, gutting my bathroom and replacing absolutely everything, doing a major Re-N-Re on the other bathroom too! In the process I learned how to do all of this and more! Thanks to YouTube and friends with knowledge, I learned how to tile and construct things that I never dreamed I would. Oh my dear... it gets BETTER!

You see, over time, the retreat center dream didn't just stop INSIDE the house! IT TOOK ME OUTSIDE TOO!

With the help of my son, who dug trenches and moved gravel for me, I built an entire NORDIC SPA complete with a wood fired BARREL SAUNA, wood fired HOT TUB, cedar COLD PLUNGE TUB, and... drumroll please.... I even built an OUTDOOR BATHROOM with a HOT WATER SHOWER!

Come on people, what 50+ year old woman with zero renovation or construction skills does this??? I don't know any, other than that woman I see when I look in the mirror!

Now, here's the thing... I mentioned earlier that it isn't really ME who is this super creative person. Truthfully, I don't know how I physically managed to do all of this in less than two years, but it happened. It didn't happen because I was special, or talented or skilled, because remember, all of this was new to me. It simply happened because I was willing...

Here is the truth... So many times in the process of this creation, when things were hard, when I couldn't figure something out and everything was going wrong, times when I would be on my hands and knees with tears streaming down my face and my forehead on the ground, all I could think to say was,

"Please dear God, I cannot do this myself. I am begging you.

Please do this THROUGH ME, AS ME."

Then, when my tears had finished falling, I would get up off the floor, I would try again, and miraculously, whatever was not working, would suddenly work. It would come through as a success. Again, this is the TRUTH, it was not because of myself, it was despite myself.

None of the successes came FROM me. They came THROUGH ME.

This, my loves, is the secret of true CREATIVITY. It never comes from us, yet the general thought and feeling that we are the ones who make it happen, is exactly what keeps so many from feeling as if they are creative! As a society, we put so much pressure on ourselves to get it right, do it right, make it look and sound and be "perfect" and "right", that most often we don't even start! Seriously, what a whole lot of pressure for a mere mortal to carry!!

Thankfully we are not mere mortals, and the CREATIVE GENIUS who can build retreat centers and nordic spas through women with no experience, the CREATIVE SPIRIT who is the one who paints the paintings, takes the photos, builds the masterpieces and shares this beauty with the world, lives in all of us and is just waiting for us to invite IT to flow THROUGH US, AS US! I don't know about you, but when I think about creativity in this way, it definitely takes the pressure off, and in turn, it opens up an ENTIRE WORLD, an incredible world of creative wonder that I never dreamed possible!

So here I am on the other side of the initial idea, and now the time has come to finish the creation and bring in the education and the work that I built and focused on while I was raising my children. Books, courses, projects and now.... RETREATS!!!

And once again, as I stand here taking my first steps in the next "thousand-mile journey" I am trusting that the Creative Spirit will continue to flow through me as me... and with all the love there is, my intention is to help others to experience this AMAZING flow, as IT is not just for a few. IT is for EVERYONE.

Amazingly, wonderfully creative things are on the horizon, my friends... I welcome you to take your first steps on your own "Thousand-Mile Journey" with me.